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Coffee Jokes
Coffee Lists
Coffee
Comics
Coffee Quotes
Coffee IQ |
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Coffee Quotes... |
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"Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and
sweet as love." - Turk proverbs |
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"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons" -
T.S.
Eliot |
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"No one can understand the truth until he drinks of
coffee's frothy goodness." -
Sheik Abd al-Qadir |
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"Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their
chops, and spend their money, all for a little base,
black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle
water." -The Women's Petition Against Coffee
(1674)
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"Is it impossible to get a cup of coffee-flavoured coffee,
anymore, in this country? What happened with the coffee?
Did I miss a fucking meeting with the coffee, huh? You can
get every other flavour except coffee-flavoured
coffee!" - Denis Leary
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"I like my coffee like I like my women- Black and Strong."
- Paul Howell (2005) |
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"I like my coffee the way I like my women -- in a plastic
cup." - Eddie Izzard
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"I like my coffee the way I like my women -- covered in
beeeeeeeeeeeees!" - Eddie Izzard |
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"I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart,
but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee." -
Flash
Rosenberg |
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"Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your
sister." - Bob Irwin
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"Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not
drank." - Alphonse Allais
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"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat."
- Alex Levine |
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"The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing
compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are
stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and
perhaps stronger than the human soul itself." -
Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995 |
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"He was my cream, and I was his coffee - And when you
poured us together, it was something." -
Josephine Baker
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"When we drink coffee, ideas march in like the army" -
Honore de Balzac |
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"Coffee comes in five descending stages: Coffee, Java,
Jamoke, Joe, and Carbon Remover." -
Robert A. Heinlein,
Glory Road |
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"Life is just one cup of coffee after another, and don't
look for anything else." - said to be Bertrand Russell's
last words |
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"Coffee, which makes the politician wise/And see through
all things with his half-shut eyes..." -
Alexander Pope, The Rape of the Lock |
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"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this
is tea, please bring me some coffee." - attributed to
Abraham Lincoln |
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"Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine lack" -
Herman Friele
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"I like my coffee black, just like my metal" - Mindless
Self Indulgence Shut Me Up
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"Do you want me to prepare a hypospray so you can absorb
the caffeine more directly?"
Neelix (Star Trek: Voyager
Think Tank) |
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"It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by
the beans of Java the thoughts acquire speed, the hands
acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning. It is by
caffeine alone I set my mind in motion." -
Unknown
(derived from Dune) |
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"The influence of coffee in stimulating the genital organs
is notorious." - John Harvey Kellogg (1877) Plain facts
for old and young : embracing the natural history and
hygiene of organic life. |
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"I like my coffee strong and my women weak." -
Alexander
Pappas |
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